James Potter's Birthday
by ohsnap its potter
Summary: It's James Potter's birthday, and he decides to throw it in the common room, which further angers the already angry mob that attempts to get past Sirius and Peter, who are in fact, bouncers. Meanwhile, Lily attempts to find him the ugliest gift. ONESHOT


A/N: I told you I am on an updating rage. All these one-shots just keep popping up, so I sincerely hope you like them.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Wormtail. Put the banner higher."

"Padfoot. Get more streamers."

"Moony. Put the book down and find something to do."

"James. Stop ordering your friends around and answer the question."

"Lily. Don't tell me what to do."

"James. Answer the question."

"Lily. I'm the birthday boy. I give the orders."

"James. You are so _infuriating_!"

"Ohh!" James turned to his friend Peter, "I love that song. Add it to the playlist."

"Um, Prongs?" Peter said cautiously, "That's not a song."

"Then _make it_ become a song." The messy haired boy shrieked.

"UGH!" Lily cried in frustration, pushing James angrily, "Why do you think your birthday is any more important than anyone else's?"

"What makes you think you can yell at the birthday boy?" James asked with a frown.

Lily lowered her head, clenched her fists, and began angrily gritting her teeth. "James. I want to study tonight, but I can't with your…party going on."

"Ah, Lily." James said, putting his arm around her and gesturing around the common room, "Don't study then. Just come to my party, and…party."

The red haired girl plucked James' arm off from around her shoulders and groaned, "James. We have a final tomorrow. I have to study for it."

"Do you ever just…let go and have fun?" He asked, folding his arms across his chest.

Lily snorted, "I hardly doubt this party will be considered fun." With that she spun around and stormed off to the girl's dorms. She felt a hand grab her elbow lightly and she spun around in exasperation. "What Po – oh…Remus!"

Remus smiled, "Hey Lily. Listen…I was wondering if I could talk to you?"

"Sure." Together they walked out of the common room and into the empty corridor. "What is it?"

"I know you and James have become sort of, kind of friends. But…it's seventh year, you're both Head Boy and Girl, and he still likes you Lily. I know you'll never feel the same way but…I don't think anything would mean more to him than you showing up at his party and wishing him a Happy Birthday."

Lily's eyes widened, '_Way to make a girl feel guilty, Remus._' She thought.

"It doesn't mean go and give him a birthday lap dance or anything." At this Lily threw up slightly in her mouth, "But maybe just a small smile or something. You're both my friends, and I just want to see you both happy." He said, running a hand through his sandy blonde hair.

Lily nodded, "Okay, Remus. I understand where you're coming from. I'll postpone the studying for the final and maybe even get him a present."

Remus grinned, "You don't have to if you don't want to."

"Don't worry." Lily smiled, "It's probably in the rules somewhere that the Head Girl has to give the Head Boy a gift…"

"You're a good friend, Lily." Remus said, and with that he clambered back through the portrait hole.

Lily stood there, her mind wheeling over what has just happened. She didn't get herself into some deep hole or anything, she just promised to get her former enemy – now friend – a gift.

"Oh bugger." She whispered, "What was I thinking?" She had no idea what he would want, maybe new quidditch gear? No, she wouldn't know what to get. Maybe a box of chocolate? No, just…no. Maybe…oh, who was she kidding? She had absolutely no idea what to get him.

That was when she broke out into a run, sprinting down the halls in search of her best friend, Becca. She finally spotted her in the library and sprinted over to her.

"I need to find James Potter a birthday present." She spoke quickly, her face flushed.

Becca slammed her book closed and stood, "Okay. This could take a while."

---

James added one more name to the list, before handing it to Sirius. "Alright, that should do it."

Sirius nodded and motioned to Peter, and they both exited the common room where a bunch of angry people were yelling at the Fat Lady.

It's frightening how many girls are in love with Sirius Black.

"Oh, hello, Sirius." The Fat Lady smiled, fanning herself with a napkin.

"Settle down, everyone." Sirius said, turning to the angry mob. "SILENCE!"

They soon stopped their talking, and turned to Sirius and Peter, who were both clad in black leather jackets, and large sunglasses.

"What are you wearing?" Someone snickered.

Peter flattened his jacket down nervously, he had thought the outfit was rather hip.

"Get in a line, and if your name is on the list, you may enter."

"But we live in there!" Some near the back cried, "You can't keep us out of our own common room!"

"We can." Peter said, folding his arms across his chest and leaning forward in what he thought was a menacing way, "And we will."

---

"No. Put it back." Lily ordered, glancing around nervously. "Let's just get back to the castle, we're going to get in so much trouble!"

"Relax." Becca said, picking up a 'Quidditch's Best Bods' book. "No one is going to find us, alright?"

They were in Hogesmeade, and Lily couldn't believe how Becca had talked her into it. "Becca. Put the book down. We are on a mission."

They continued looking throughout the town, until they came by Zonkos. "How about a fun gizmo?" Becca suggested.

"No." Lily said, "I want something a little more…"

"Romantic?"

Lily blushed, "Well…yeah. Anyways, I want to get him something to see if the way he feels about me is for real, you know?"

"I have an idea." Becca said, grabbing Lily's arm in excitement. "Get him the ugliest sweater or hat or piece of clothing you can think of. If he finds it attractive, he's blinded by love, and then you know he's serious about what he says."

Lily rolled her eyes, "You're ridiculous. That won't work."

"It can." Becca said, folding her arms across her chest, "And it will."

---

James readjusted his party hat and swung his hips to the beat of the music. The party had been going on for quite some time, and there was still no sign of Lily. He sighed, she didn't get it, did she? He really liked her.

A slower song came on, and everyone paired up, everyone except for James. He sat down on a table, his cone shaped hat slightly lopsided, and his chin in his hands.

"James," Remus said, walking over to him, and James immediately knew Remus was there to tell him to 'ask someone to dance.' Or 'it's your birthday, have fun,' but what he did say, however, surprised James greatly. "Prongs. You're sitting in dip."

James yelped and jumped up, the bowl of dip stuck to his rear. He pulled it off and set it on the table, "Remus?"

"Yes?" Remus asked, biting his lip and looking at the green dip on James' jeans.

"Do I smell funny? Do I have a weird sign on me that says, 'don't come near?' Am I ugly?"

Remus bit his lip harder to prevent himself from sniggering, "I don't think you smell funny, but that dip might make it seem like you are wearing odd cologne."

"Thanks Remus," James said, obviously not listening to what his friend said, "I know I'm handsome. But then why won't Lily give me a chance? She's not even at my party."

Remus looked around the room. There was confetti that was constantly falling in all assortments of colors, streamers, and a large sign that read, 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES!'

"Hey guys," Sirius said, running over to them, "It's getting pretty wild out in the hallway, People keep wanting to come in." He grabbed a chip and swiped it in the bowl of dip that was formally stuck to James' bottom.

"You're doing well, Sirius." James said, grabbing a chip and dunking it in the green dip, "Thanks for coming to my party."

Remus opened his mouth in disgust, but decided against telling his friend that that was the same dip he had sat in. '_He's already miserable enough,_' he thought.

"Well, I better get back out there, Peter can't handle this stuff on his own." Sirius said, ladling a glass of punch and walking away.

He emerged out into the hall to see Lily pushing her way to the front of the line, "Peter!"

"Yes?" Peter asked in a monotone voice. He was taking this whole bouncer job rather seriously.

"I need to get in there. I have a present for James." She held up a gold and maroon colored package.

"Is your name on the list?" Peter asked seriously, thumbing through the pages of names.

"Of course hers is." Sirius said, shoving Peter out of the way. "Go on in, Lily."

Lily nodded gratefully and scurried inside, looking around for untamed hair.

"Lily, you made it." Remus said from behind her.

She spun around, "Where is he?"

Remus pointed over to the food table, and Lily's eyes followed where he was pointing to find James miserably shoving chips in his mouth. She said thanks quickly and ran over to him.

"Um…James?"

He spun around, "LILY!" He cried, bits of chips flinging out of his mouth and hitting her in the face. He blushed and began wiping them away.

"Happy seventeenth Birthday, James." She said, handing him the gift.

His eyes widened, "Lily…all I wanted for my birthday was for you to come. You didn't need to get me a gift."

Lily turned red, but some of it was from guilt. She purposely had gotten him a hideous gift, just to see if he liked her. But of course he did, he said himself that he only wanted her to come.

He clambered up onto the nearest table, "CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE?"

Lily's eyes widened, what was he doing?

"PRONGS!" Remus hissed, "_Your foot._"

James looked down to find his foot in the punch bowl. He quickly removed it, "I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY THAT I AM ABOUT TO OPEN A PRESENT FROM A VERY DEAR FRIEND!"

Lily felt her heart flutter, it surprisingly meant a lot to her that he considered her a friend. He leapt off the table, while everyone gathered around, peering at the package curiously.

"Lily got him a _gift_?"

"Is it a bomb?"

"What is _happening_ to this world?"

James ignored the comments from the people around him, and unwrapped the package eagerly.

"James…" Lily began, "Maybe you shouldn't open it here…"

But it was too late, for James had tossed away the wrapping paper and was now holding up the most hideous sweater ever to be made.

It was a green on half, and orange on the other half. There were random patches of purple, with little stars and hearts around the bottom.

"Is she blind?"

"What was she thinking?"

"It's worse than a bomb!"

Lily scuffed the toe of her shoe on the ground nervously, she shouldn't have listened to Becca. That was stupid of her. No one in their right mind would enjoy a sweater like that…

There were several swoons and Lily snapped her head up in a flash to see James' bare chest. He pulled the sweater she had gotten him on and patted it down, grinning.

Lily bent down and picked his fallen party hat up off of the floor and placed it on his head.

"Cue the music, Wormtail." James said, for Peter and Sirius had finally just allowed everyone to enter, seeing as they were threatening to break their, in the words of Peter, 'hip' shades.

But no music played, because Peter was busy clambering on a table, and clearing his throat.

"_You are so…infuriating…and I can't believe it…_" He sang, swinging his hips as James had earlier, "_Yeah you are so infuriating…_"

"Peter!" James said, "I was joking when I said make it a song!"

Peter blushed, "Oh…I knew that…I was just joking…"

But he wasn't. And he had spent over two hours writing it.

Sirius took it upon himself to cue the music, and soon a slow song began to play.

"May I have this dance?" James asked, holding out his hand.

Lily nodded and put her arms around his neck. He was so much taller than her, and he smelt so nice. She stepped closer and placed her head against his chest.

"Sorry if the sweater is ugly, James." She whispered, and James touched her chin lightly, upturning her head to face him.

"I wouldn't care if you had gotten me the ugliest sweater in the world."

'_What is he on about_?' Lily wondered, '_I _did_ get him the ugliest sweater in the world!_'

"The point is that you came, and that you're dancing with me. Lily, the fact that you spent time to pick out something for me means so much." He paused, "Would it be alright if I kissed you?"

Lily nodded. Maybe Becca was right after all, picking out ugly sweaters really does end well….

So, James, who was in a party hat and ugly sweater, leant down and captured her lips with his.

And even though he had a green arse and a soaking foot that made odd squishing sounds when he walked, he couldn't help but notice how this was his best birthday yet.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


End file.
